I am shocked and depressed. Haven't imagined that this may ever happen to me. How blessed I am in the past. Must challenges and reality comes in more vividly as I grow? I am selfish and egocentric, I know it long. It is hurt to hear from significant other he doesn't share because he thinks we can't understand him and his situation. This is true. Just that the statement comes in a bit sudden that I am not psychologically prepared. I have bits of awareness but today I am striked suddenly by it. And perhaps I got to understand how I hurt others in this way. Yet, I appreciate the bluntness. For this, I rather know it than to be kept in mist. Again, selfishness comes in. Eventually, I am mostly considering the my own well-being. I feel uneasy and uncomfortable because of the threat of this news to my well-being. I also try to hurt him because he's a bit arrogant and over-confidence. I think this constitutes part of his perception that I can't understand him. Till now, I don't really have much of the desire to try to understand him. But it is the reciprocal care that I am trying to do now.

In face of this, I feel a bit helpness and overwhelmed. Damn myself. I want to change the situation? but will the change be better? what is a positive change?

I may call in a couple of days.

好像突然成熟了，但又好像沒有。大概是因為comparison的時期不同。那麼，是我高中以後的成長不顯著還是當局者迷，以致我沒有察覺？還是那不應叫成長，而是改變？

我不能不休息

如果今日唔係選擇左搭地鐵，而地鐵既配套又咁完善，我恐怕已經俾司機睥或者當街撞頭嘛牆。雖然係地鐵都唔好得幾多，不過無人識我，就算。

根據我過往既經驗，地鐵既員工真係樂於助人，又關心人，今日又再一次証明，仍然係「小姐，你無事呀嘛？」我好似對長沙灣同sham shui po既內部格局有似曾相識既感覺。第一次去既時候，我好似差ｄ迷路，唔太識走返出黎。

之前先話今日唔想line返學，估唔到今日就應驗，等我尋日仲早ｄ訓諗住今日即使一堂都上，雖然其實係加嘛拎case。

我會盡量唔再厭惡打鼻鼾既人，我會嘗試體諒佢地，因為佢地根本不能自控。

曾承諾要是我可以去exchange，我會找part time、我會配一副藍色眼鏡

現在，我想染髮

Once again, i make an unforgivable fault. This is the least fault that I shud ever commit. Althou it's true, i shud prevent it from exposing. I reali despise myself. I swear on myself. I gotta do sth to relieve my guilt. The practice is of little help.

I miz my foreign experiences and friends. Dun want them to be brief encounters only.